I am JAM not Jelly

ben38:

It’s not difficult to make a woman happy.

A man only needs to be:
1. a friend
2. a companion
3. a lover
4. a brother
5. a father
6. a master
7. a chef
8. an electrician
9. a carpenter
10. a plumber
11. a mechanic
12. a decorator
13. a stylist
14. a sexologist
15. a gynecologist
16. a psychologist
17. a pest exterminator
18. a psychiatrist
19. a healer
20. a good listener
21. an organizer
22. a good father
23. very clean
24. sympathetic
25. athletic
26. warm
27. attentive
28. gallant
29. intelligent
30. funny
31. creative
32. tender
33. strong
34. understanding
35. tolerant
36. prudent
37. ambitious
38. capable
39. courageous
40. determined
41. true
42. dependable
43. passionate
44. compassionate

WITHOUT FORGETTING TO:
45. give her compliments regularly
46. love shopping
47. be honest
48. be very rich
49. not stress her out
50. not look at other girls

AND AT THE SAME TIME, YOU MUST ALSO:
51. give her lots of attention, but expect little yourself
52. give her lots of time, especially time for herself
53. give her lots of space, never worrying about where she goes

IT IS VERY IMPORTANT:
54. Never to forget:
* birthdays
* anniversaries
* arrangements she makes

HOW TO MAKE A MAN HAPPY

1. Show up naked
2. Bring food

made. my. night.

I got home at 4:30 last night. And you know what my mom told me?

NOTHING.

Nada. Null. Zip. Zilch. ø.

No nagging, no questions, no reprimands.

I woke up, and again, nothing. Okay, I got a “Good morning” and an “Oh, you’re up already,” but no more.

This is different for me. And I like it.

: )

On a side note, Los Perros is pretty freakin baller. A little young for my taste, but everything from the food to the music to waitresses are, simply put, HOT.

‘Twas a good night.

(via featherprincess)

try watching The Matrix Trilogy. For every question answered, you’re left with three more. It’s a mindfuck waiting to happen.

uswag305:

<3 :)

bellavita5:

It’s not a matter of greed. It’s a matter of pride and love for the game. We’ll have to agree to disagree. I’m not surprised he cried, and I’m not surprised that others in similar situations didn’t cry either. However, I feel he reserves the right to do what he wants with his tear ducts.

<3 you though!

uswag305:

I see what you mean, Daniella. However, there are hundreds of players who have built legacies for both themselves and for their schools/communities: Ken Dorsey and Willis McGahee being a couple of my favorites from the []__[]. Dorsey and McGahee won the championship with us in 2001. Like Tebow, they wanted to go all the way in 2002 and repeat. However, we were robbed of our national championship AT THE ACTUAL NATIONAL CHAMPIONSHIP GAME by a lesser Ohio State team. Dorsey and McGahee fought and died for the orange and the green. For them, football wasn’t a game; it was all they had, just like Tebow. Even though we lost and were robbed, McGahee and Dorsey didn’t cry. They bowed their heads and walked right into the locker room after the game. Actually, McGahee was taken away in a stretcher, but I think you get my point. McGahee and Dorsey had already cemented their legacy at Miami, and I think they knew that. Both moved on to the NFL, as Tebow probably will.

Tebow cried as if this was the end of his football career. However, he is still playing one more game for the Gators at the Sugar Bowl. If he wants to cry tears of joy for his organization, he should do it then. But to cry out of sadness for not getting to ANOTHER championship? Sorry, but you have to be a better leader than that. This guy is already recognized as the best to ever play at the collegiate level. What more could he want?

bellavita5:

You know what Bry? I’m not a Florida fan, but I respect Tebow immensely. And for you to say he has to man up because he cried is bullshit. Think about the legacy he has built for himself and for his team. He has put his life into this game. Football is a perfectly reasonably reason to cry. He had all the right in the world. It’s not just a game. He put his heart into it. He had all the right in the world to shed a few tears.

You have broken cup holders in rage when another team scores against the []_[] so I don’t think you should be talking about overreacting in football. Tim Tebow would have been a wuss if he didn’t cry about the sport he put his entire life into. He had every right.

uswag305:

Alright, so we all saw Florida lose. Did I think Florida was going to win? Yes. Did I want Florida to win? Hell no. I was pretty surprised by the way this game turned out. I really thought Tebow could single-handedly lift this team past Alabama, but he came out flat. He was pretty much non-factor for the full 60 min. I was very impressed by Mark Ingrahm and the Alabama defence overall. However, I definately have to give mad props to McElroy. He came out today and played like a Heisman. Throughout the year, McElroy was bashed for being the weak spot in this Bama team. I loved how he came out and put out an extremely solid performance. He looked a lot like McCoy.

As for Tebow, I still think he is one of the best players to have ever played at the collegiate level. I have always respected Tebow for his ability to play the game and for the type of person he is off the field. However, was the crying necessary? Really, man? REALLY? C’mon now…After all that you have seen in the world: poverty, hunger, disease. Are you really going to cry over ONE loss to an extremely impressive Alabama team? Really, now? Tebow, you have seen people suffer around the world in your missionary journies. I think it’s pretty selfish of you to cry because your team lost its chance at a national championship, of which you already won two (as a player). As my dad said, “Man up”.

5 > 3

Get a room, you two. Geez.

kari-shma:

Present posted the how to cuddle for girls.. but I found the how to cuddle for boys a lot more amusing.. so here it is. (the bold parts are the one I find very funny)

Boys:

1. Ask your partner if they want to cuddle first. Put on a movie or something to keep them interested.
2. Make sure your breath smells good. Bad breath is a turn-off when you are several inches away from your cuddle’s face.
3. Breathe through your nose, not your mouth.
4. Wrap your arms around your partner, as if trying to keep her warm and keep her close.
5. Run your hands up and down her arm, or draw circles with your thumb. Do this gently, caressing her.
6. Take your hand and rub it gently along her face, be careful not to poke her in the eye.
7. Squeeze all of your affection into her, but don’t suffocate her. Just hold her tightly and make her feel wanted.
8. Nuzzle her neck, head, shoulders. Don’t get creepy or act like an animal, just be loving and warm.
9. If you’re at the kissing stage, peck her neck and the tips of her ears gently, or just breathe softly on her neck or ears.
10. Tickle her gently. Put your hands around her waist.
11. Stroke her hair softly.
12. Lightly run your hand up and down her leg, making sure to stay within her comfort zone.
13. It can go both ways. Lay your head against her shoulder.
14. If it’s cold outside, lend her your jacket and hug her. But don’t force her to wear your jacket.
15. Be nice.

Source <— if you do click the source.. make sure you watch the video. it is hilarious.

PS: make sure not to poke us in the eye. hahaha.

Note to self Karishma  ; )

nicolettewho:

mariannita:

jamnotjelly:

mariannita:

nicolettewho:

I want some ink!

Get something outrageously big!

Ok that might be a bit too much (consider back-less dresses)

and idk… I dont like tribals.

Yeah this is not me at all haha! I don’t like tribals either… I would probably get something small behind my neck or around the rib area. and it would be like… a skeleton or words or something I know I’ll always like.

p.s. I’m not getting this anytime soon. I’m thinking in like the next two years lol. I need to be 100% sure. but def something and something small.

pshh, you said outrageously big  : P  hehe idk, I don’t mind tribals, if done right, but I’m also a fan of words and even phrases. I’ve been considering one myself, but the ink I use (ultraviolet or black) would determine whether I’d get a symbol (prob tribal or sanskrit) or a phrase/excerpt (respectively).

Have you thought of whole phrases or excerpts or quotes? they can be small, and can be done right under the rib cage…

mariannita:

nicolettewho:

I want some ink!

Get something outrageously big!